This may be an entry that surprises many and isn't exactly what some may want to hear. I'm talking to the hipsters out there. One year ago today, I was waiting anxiously to be cleared from my hip stress fracture, still on crutches (after what already seemed like too long), and couldn't run or walk for exercise. July 8th marks the one year anniversary from surgery. As you all know, it was 4 good months post-op that I had to wait to take a "jogging" step. I started working up to "running" from November through January. Then, marathon training began shortly after. I was FORCED to rest and not run for such a long time that I had the post-op goal of running a marathon. I think because I had at least 5 hip patients tell me I wouldn't probably run again, or it just wouldn't be the same. I fought that with everything in me and perservered through the miles, and the long runs.
Something that I didn't focus on: the lack of enjoyment on each long run, and many shorter ones. Something has definately changed. I use to long to go for a run, and my favorite runs each week were the ones over 2 hours. Not so much now. This time around, I dreaded it. Each run came and went and the feelings didn't really change. I hoped that it would.
Marathon Day: Stephanie and I started together. It was hot and hilly, but a beautiful course. Around mile 12, she went ahead. I was perfectly okay with this because my only goal was to enjoy the run. Beginning early, I couldn't wait to get done and actually wanted to quit. I kept thinking, "God, just get me through this...I don't want to get a DNF." (I have never had a DNF.) Getting lost on course (as about 90% of the other runners did as well-reported by race coordinators), didn't help. I couldn't wait to just get this done and over with. I crossed the finishline and as Marc waited to hear, "I'm so disappointed with my time, I need to redeem myself and run another marathon...," he instead heard, "That was my last marathon, I never want to run one again!" My girls, Marc, and Stephanie were a bit surprised.
The day after: I was a tiny bit depressed. I sat in the car on the way home and Marc asked what was wrong. I WANTED to like it. I really wanted the love for it to come back during the race. I hoped I would do the marathon and the passion would come back. It didn't. My back up plan: run half marathons for a while and enjoy running. My only goal is to trail run for enjoyment. 100% fun. I will mountain bike and hike too. I have said that if I ever do a marathon again, it will be in several, several years, if and when the passion comes back around. "I wouldn't have known that I would feel this way unless I tried it!" as stated by my friend Lori. So true.