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Sunday, May 30, 2010


...and confident! Words that mean the complete opposite. February, just three short months ago, I was running at my normal pace, injury free, and would have described myself as confident in life, in running.

Today we got together with Scheri's family for a late lunch and some good company. Scheri and I have a bike ride planned in the Air Force Academy for tomorrow morning. She posted the ride to the group, so I knew there was a potential that others may join us, and I was actually hopeful. Part of running has become very social for me, so not being able to get together with a group of girls regularly has been something I have missed. She has been posting a swim once a week; however, it has just been my faithful swimming buddy Tracy so far, and Val once. Additionally, since I have been injured, there have been some new runners that have joined the group, and I have not had the opportunity to meet them. So when Scheri said that someone I had never met would be joining us, I was excited...and apprehensive.

Have I mentioned lately that I know I have absolutely no muscle in my legs? When I stopped running in late March, I lost 3 lbs., I'm sure all of the muscle in my legs. When I ran Boston, the "little hills" as Coloradans refer to them as, devastated me. I can swim to tone, but as soon as I kick, my hip hurts for days, so I have even cut back on that. I can't lift any weights on my lower half so that is out. I don't want to lift on my upper because my crutches are already making me seriously buff.

Align Center

When I went biking with Scheri last week, I fared okay, but she had also done a speed workout earlier in the day. She usually kicks my booty on the bike, my perspective - but she's always nice about it, so this wasn't anything new; however, now someone else will be joining us. Apprehensive. What if I end up struggling the entire time? What if it is hard to keep up? I chose to do a marathon for the first time in 2006 because I was in a situation that felt very out of control, a business relationship. Completing a marathon, but most of all running, felt like something that I could control. I controlled my running for several years: how hard I worked, how high I set my goals, how far I wanted to go, how fast I wanted to go. Now, I can no longer control my running. Ultimately, I can't control anything - that has been so obvious lately. And I can't control my bike ride tomorrow. So when you think your in control of something in your life, think again. But most importantly, know that whatever happens, in whatever situation, God is in control and He can see the big picture. Some good advice, I think I'll take it.

1 comment:

  1. You did fantastic today :-) It was great being out on such a beautiful day! I'm so proud of you for having a positive attitude about your injury now. I know it has been very difficult for you, but you need to remember that your friends and family will always be supportive and poke fun at the cripple, haha. I know we will get our payback when you're kicking our butts next year in all those races ;-)